Finding My Own Happiness

To find my inner happiness again, I need to let go of the things I can't control.

The Lord does not give you more than you can bear. This is something I need to say as part of my prayers at night. If I say it and repeat it, I will truly believe it. To know how deep one's faith really is . . . it has to be tested. It is easy to say "I have faith" and never have the meaning of that put to the test. (Read Job's story in the Bible, for example).

There's been a few tests God has given me lately and I am sad to say I haven't necessarily passed them. I let my emotions get the best of me and showed people I love that I didn't let God be in control of my worries.

I'm making some changes, however. I have started leaving my work at the office at the end of the day. What's left at the end of the day will be there tomorrow, or Monday. I am planning to take a college course that meets twice a week, and I will either volunteer somewhere or play on a volleyball league another night of the week. These things will help me leave work at the office and reinforce to myself that I DESERVE a positive work/life balance!

I bought a book today. It's called "Love yourself, Heal your Life". It's a workbook that is meant to be done in stages. The first chapter is called "I am willing to change". This seems so fitting with recent events that have occured in my life. I made some terrible choices in words and actions lately that quite frankly, are not who I really am. To make sure that person doesn't come around again, I need to find the real me again and make some changes around me to make the bad/terrible me disappear.

Life is what we make it. From this day forward, I plan to make mine one I will look back on and have no regrets.

Merry Christmas

Howdy to all my viewers. 2008 has been quite the year. There's been happiness and sadness all in one lately.

My prayers go out to my boyfriend's family while they endure the loss of a wonderful woman. My boyfriend's mother passed away earlier this month and it's been quite hard to cope; especially for his dad. He lost the love of his life and grieving has been difficult for him. It's very hard to see people lose their loved ones. I'm not good with saying the right words, but I think I'm doing quite well with offering up hugs and lending my ear.

It will take time to heal the hurt, but I know they have many good and loving memories of her that will help them all see through the mourning.