One of my favorite scriptures

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Finding...

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot. Who calls you back, even though you hung up on him. Who thinks you're perfect (for him) even though he knows the worst things about you, wait for the guy who kisses your forehead! Who wants to show you off to the world when you're in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you are just as pretty without makeup. Who laughs at you tripping over your own feet while picking you up and the one who turns to his friends and says "that's her".

Promises

I wrote this poem in my journal a little over a year ago...No need to say who it was written about.

Promises

I can't make a promise that things will alwaysbe perfect between us;

I can't make a promise that I will always shine.
I can't make a promise that I will not get on your nerves;
I can't make a promise that you will not get on mine.
I can't make a promise that I will never be moody;
I can't make a promise that I will always make my bed.
I can't make a promise that I will take your advice;
I can't make a promise that no tears will be shed.
But I can promise you that I will be myselfand never lead you on;
And I can promise that I will keep my attitude good and true.
I can promise that I will talk to you about my feelings;
And I can promise that I will listen to your points of view.
I can promise you that I will always try to make you smile;
And I can promise that you already brighten my day.
I can promise that I will never hurt you;
And I can promise that I am here to stay.

48 miles!

I woke up this morning at 6am, packed my bike and gear, and drove out to Katy Mills Mall for "Puddle for the Ducks". When I got there, I figured I would do good if I only went for 28 miles - the shortest route. At the 2nd rest stop around 18 miles in, a decision had to be made. Turn left - your route is 48 miles. Turn right - it's 28. I turned left.

Life is all about making decisions. Do you go one way because it's shortest or easiest? Or do you go another way to show yourself you aren't looking for the easy way out?

The ride started out with no wind, no noticable wind anyway. When I made that left turn, I told myself "There's no turning back". Of course, there's SAG there if you can't finish the ride. But to me, I didn't see that as an option. There were a handful of times that the side wind gusts were so strong that my bike swayed and I thought I was going to crash into riders passing me on the left. The headwind was making many people stop and rest, including me. The headwind gusts, from what one gentlemen told me, was 25 mph. There were several people along the 48-mile route that I saw packing up their bikes and calling it quits. That was me last year. This year, that's NOT going to be me.

Along the route, I witnessed a pretty bad collision with 4 riders. So bad, that the road was blocked off both ways with 2 police cars, 2 SAG motorcycles, and 1 ambulance. The Ride Marshalls there told us to get off our bikes and walk through the accident scene. Two people were laying on the side of the road in the grass crying, obviously in pain. I heard the paramedic say that one of the ladies' ankles might be broken.  Oh, how I literally felt her pain in that moment.  Not too long ago, I broke my ankle in a biking accident.  It was a tough journey to get to where I wanted to be, but I did...so will she.

So what's my next plan? I am going to try my hand (or feet in this case) at cycling with clips again. I have the shoes, and I have the clips. I didn't have enough patience and confidence in myself the first time I tried it and ended up breaking my ankle in the process. I am going to take my bike back into the place where I bought it and ask that they reattach the clips. It will be an exciting and scary experience to try it again. But I know that I can gain enough confidence to ride with the "Big Dogs".

Are you Mary or are you Martha?

In the Bible, there tells a story of Mary of Bethany and her sister Martha. Jesus visits them a few times and every time, Mary stops what she is doing and sits at Jesus' feet. Martha always scrambles trying to be the woman of hospitality and trying to hard to make sure everyone is amply accommodated. Mary's disregard to help Martha irritates her and she asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her. Jesus responds to Martha and tells her "Martha, Martha. You are too worried and bothered."

You see Mary had a Type A personality. Someone who has the gift of hospitality, but is easily distracted by truly listening to others because she was too busy and worried that she needed to accommodate her guests. She wasn't a bad person; she just didn't do or say the most ideal things. I'm Martha most of the time. I'm not a terrible person, in fact, I really care about other people sometimes more than me. But that sometimes be misinterpreted as less than positive. I need to make a personal committment to not worry about pleasing so many people and instead enjoy those that choose to let me into their lives and vise versa.

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I encourage to read from the book of Luke Chapter 10, versus 38-42 to read the story for more detail.

Some of the things I have been learning are when you are faced with a challenge, an emergency, or any type of crisis, you need to follow certain steps to refrain from becoming overwhelmed:

1. Be Cool - don't let your temperment dictate your agenda. If you let it dictate your agenda, then it dictates the circumstances.
2. Call a Time Out - Get your priorities right. Think of it as being a coach for a football or basketball team. The team is down by points that could make or break the win for them. The coach calls a time out to pull his team in and give a pep talk or say what needs to be done from a perspective that's not on the court or field.
3. Get the Big Picture - Get everything in perspective before you react. Make sure that you are not speaking or doing anything that will do more harm than good.

A few things to remember: Every thought we think is creating our future. Negative thoughts can be turned around. We need to release the past and forgive everyone, including ourselves.

My Promise

This past week has put my psyche to the test. I have failed. You see, I lost my Gramma this week. It was the same day I went over to my boyfriend's house and confronted him and said some things that cannot be undone. Gramma lived a long, happy, Christian life and I know she's home with the Lord. As my boyfriend/friend Mike said when he was talking about his mom and grandmother when she passed, I also believe that my Gramma is now with the love of her life, my Grampa. He died February 7, 1992 when I was a senior in high school. February 7th is also the day my uncle died. It's also my brother's birthday. And it's mine and Mike's anniversary of the day we met. The day that when both of us wanted to meet someone new, but take it slow. Little did I know how much he and I would start to care about one another so quickly. As Mike put it, we "just fit" and he made me feel so good when he told me that he was so happy he found someone like me who make him feel at ease and be himself. Now, 5 years later, we are in a spot where the only thing that is going to heal us is time apart.Things were said and done that we both regret.  Things I know we cannot take back. My friends want that Denise back. Mike wants that Denise back. And with the Lord's help, everyone will have that Denise back soon.

So I ask you - my friends, my family, and Mike (wherever you fit), I ask you to stand by me and know that this is what I want and believe can happen. It will not be overnight. It will take a couple of months, but it's worth it.